Monday, August 15, 2016

How to Deal with Cyber Bullying

Ever since I started embracing the volume and frizz of my hair, and truly loving it, some people have felt the need to share their opinions of my current style. My hair is bigger now, and has become the unfortunate target for unsolicited comments:

“She’s culture appropriating!”
“Your hair looks like a poodle!”
“Can you fix your hair?”
“You look like a sheep.”

Comments like these make me laugh.

I can't culture appropriate the curly hair that grows out of my own head.
I like poodles.
My hair doesn't need to be fixed.
And I also like sheep.

Whether or not these are valid comments, the second someone posts something online, it allows others the opportunity to express themselves, even if it’s going to hurt your feelings. More often than not, those who have taken the time to comment are usually friendly and lovely - so I don't have any reason to complain about the haterism.

But for the times when an unwanted negative comment slips through the cracks, I try to stick to the following:

The best thing to do sometimes when haters leave rude comments on your page is to IGNORE! IGNORE! IGNORE! Why provide attention to people who sit behind a computer and comment on your posts in a negative way? A lot of time I just ignore it and leave the comment there so the world can see how dumb they are. It's my favorite tactic.


Depending on how severe the comment is, sometimes a little 'block & delete action' needs to happen! Inappropriate comments that are both rude and disgusting do not need to be seen by others. It’s one thing to be mean, but another to be inappropriate. The repeated offenders need to learn their lesson. The drive-by visitor who comments on a blog post is usually easy to ignore. If someone is constantly harassing you, it's best to just block them and never have to worry about their unwanted, disturbing comments again.


A good dose of kindness never hurt nobody. When a bully leaves a comment that makes your blood boil on a topic close to home; educate them. But pick your battles. We all know some people can’t be taught, and chances your reply will ignite their fire even further. I like to engage in comments asking a question.

A comment like:

“White people rocking their hair like Afros now?”
Irritates me because:

1. You don’t know my background.
2. Hair picking your hair for volume does not equate it to being an afro.
3. WHO CARES? I have curly hair and will style it however I feel like it.

Remember that at the end of the day it’s your page.
You can post whatever you want.
If someone doesn’t like it... then tough.

Also note that what people say online can be uncalled for and undeserved. These types of comments are not something you should let hurt you. (Even though I know this can be easier said than done!) I have totally taken these comments to heart and let them affect me in a negative way.

As much as I wanted to share the tips above, I also wanted to remind myself of what to do, how to react, and keep it moving. People can suck. But you don’t always have to listen to what they’re saying. Good comments resonate far more positively than negative ones. Concentrate on the positive and appreciate them with a quick response letting that person know you took the same time they did to comment.

As the saying goes, “You ain’t winning unless you have haters!”

Top: GAP
Jeans: H&M
Hair: Bounce Curl (USE CODE: STYLEFEEN for money off)

Photographer: Josh Pomponio


Shea Kang said...

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. Thanks for sharing you knowledge :)

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